You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
