Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
