pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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