the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
