Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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