Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
