So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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