We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
