mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
my poor anus
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
