they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
COCAINE IS GR8
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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