I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
