halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
