Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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