STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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