Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
