just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
