My boss' voice literally gives me gas
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
