and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
