Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize