You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
