we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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