So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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