walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize