i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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