Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
