we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
