Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
