can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i was born a porn star she said
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
