i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Couch. On fire.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize