I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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