What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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