ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
