with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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