It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
