Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
