Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
