Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
