So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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