i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize