Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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