we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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