im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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