It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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