I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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