Swine flu. Run for my life!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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