question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
