I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
