She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it's like iHOP with fire
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
