She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
