I wannas sexs uuuuu
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
