my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
that may or may not have been my penis.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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