WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
