Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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