she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
