I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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