So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
