i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
