i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
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