I need help removing her.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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