good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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