im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
